| b | j | keira |

Keira's 6th Birthday Party

2010-08-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

Photos by Elijah!

Life on Facebook

2008-12-10T07:43:00.000-08:00

So, not much attention has been going into our blog for a while, and it's at least 100% due to the fact that we're pretty much online communicating via Facebook these days. (Read: I'm pregnant, lazy, and can scarcely form a complete sentence let alone something coherent and interesting.)

If we have videos, or something long and rambly to say, we'll probably post here.

If you're not on Facebook, please check it out, send us a message and/or friend us. That way we get to know what you're up to also, and the whole blogging thing gets to be a two-way street.

Peace & Merry Christmas <3

More from the squirrel party

2008-11-07T21:08:00.000-08:00

Halloween & Keira's Squirrel Party

2008-11-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

Keira as Ariel:

Our nephew Elijah coordinated a "costume contest" at the squirrel party.

Halloween Costume Shopping: "Is that McCain?"

2008-10-30T16:34:00.001-07:00

Biking in Autumn

2008-10-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

Keira & Annie on an Autumn ride to the park. What fun!

Hey, Sarah Palin: A Four Year Old's Response (Rated G)

2008-10-16T20:40:00.001-07:00

Sep 08 Random Pics

2008-09-20T12:56:00.000-07:00

At gymnastics

2008-09-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

Summer biking

2008-08-19T21:08:00.000-07:00

The best therapy, in my unsolicited opinion, comes in the form of 1) a bike & either 2) a cute & precocious preschooler in tow, or 3) an mp3 player filled with auditory escape fuel.

Below it's obvious which of these options was taken on a recent day, & the destination: Keirafun.

Fun at the fair

2008-08-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

To us, the fair = heat, stickiness, & elephant ears.
We met all three criteria.

More sweet baby & big bro pics

2008-08-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

Keira & I got a sweet visit --

More birthday pictures

2008-08-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

Weirdest thing I've ever been told

2008-08-07T20:27:00.001-07:00

Keira to me:

"Mommy, you laugh like a bowling instructor."

Um, yeah...

Happy Birthday, Keira

2008-08-06T14:57:00.000-07:00

I can't believe you are four. We love you so much...

Visit with Zoe

2008-07-31T19:18:00.000-07:00

Hospital waiting room boredom at its best

2008-07-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

Go, Elijah!

More Zoe pics

2008-07-26T07:52:00.000-07:00

She is perfect!

Welcome, Baby Zoe!

2008-07-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

Born today at 4pm, coming in at 7 lb, 13 oz and 19 inches, is baby Zoe. Congratulations, Mommy, Daddy, & big brother Elijah!!

Last weekend at the zoo

2008-07-14T14:38:00.001-07:00

To Elijah

2008-07-11T20:52:00.001-07:00

To our favorite 10 year-old ever. We love you...

The song, "The River" by Garth Brooks, is one of Elijah's very favorites.

Weird Keira-ism of the day

2008-07-07T17:03:00.001-07:00

"You're a yucky stormtrooper with cheese in his mouth!" I didn't catch the video until after the statement.

Random singing today

2008-07-06T19:28:00.003-07:00

We are uncertain exactly what inspired this:

And we are pretty sure what inspired this -- Bethany, hope you feel better soon!

Happy B'day, Aunt Kari!

2008-06-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

Keira's playhouse in progress

2008-06-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

Daddy is building his little girl a playhouse. It will later be used as a garden shed (much, much later, we imagine). We just need to put on the roof, trim, and bolster a few things inside. ("We" meaning Bob plans, purchases, and installs everything, and I very thoughtfully and carefully hold stuff in place).

Here are a couple of pics of the playhouse in progress:

Home sick

2008-06-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

Keira spent the day at home today, due to some GI issues that we won't go into here. Let's just say mommy was doing laundry and upholstery clean-up a good part of the day.

Here she is chillin' with Max the guinea pig while watching cartoons this morning.

Ah, therapy...

Shelby the Pig

2008-06-06T15:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the pig*, Nancy. It's a hit-- Keira grabbed on, instantly named it, and it's now almost as broken-in as her well-drug-around 2 year-old Curious George.

*At least, we think it's a pig - we managed to locate some legs and possibly ears. Shelby is, er, rather voluptuous.

May 08

2008-06-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

Keiriana Jones

2008-05-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

In honor of the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones series, we bring you Indy's granddaughter at 2 years old, a photo and video captured approximately two years ago.

Fedora: Check

Thinking on the spot: Check

Sharp wit: Check

Playing with exotic creatures: Check

All needed is the whip.

Toes

2008-05-18T09:21:00.001-07:00

The time of year has finally arrived to bear the toes.

Keira's request for her first ever toenail painting shortly followed. Needless to say, painting a three year-old's small squirmy nails was quite the experience.

Preschoolers for Obama

2008-05-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

Barack was back & we had to go! We got in through the press gate because of the awesome AFSCME union people, but had to stand waaaay back, as the speakers were way too much for Keira. Fortunately, Keira had tons of entertainment in her friend, Clayton, whose mommy managed to find us in the masses.

Below: our experience summarized.

Comcast grief

2008-05-09T19:42:00.000-07:00

Comcast is giving us grief.

Outgoing message issues +
receving multiple copies of the same #$&#*#@ message =
Gmail is my home.

Before the switch:

After the switch:

See!

Dancing with the Cheese

2008-05-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

Random snack eating dance right before going to the park.

More on the whole Taekwondo thing

2008-05-02T17:22:00.001-07:00

Due to the video a few days ago, and ensuing demonstration of 3 year-old's ninja skills, we're signing up Keira for a Taekwondo class next week. Here's her response:

Snow White bowling

2008-04-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

Random dress-up time... And she gets a spare!

Why did the radish kiss the banana?

2008-04-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

Hard to hear, but our child is telling Aunt Kari the very first joke she's told. Mind you, she's told us at leat 13,792 times in the last two days, but got a little stage shy when telling Aunt Kari.

So, why did the radish kiss the banana?

A: Because it had "ap-peel."

Keira does Tae Kwondo

2008-04-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

Not to be outdone by cousin Elijah, she will probably enroll in classes soon. As exemplified in the video, a classroom setting will be a very good thing for Daddy.

March for Babies

2008-04-26T16:13:00.001-07:00

Today was a March of Dimes fundraising March for Babies thing. Good times. :)

Ahh...nothing like a warm sunny day & a balloon. And that balloon was with us the entire time.

Michelle L. (below, w/Keira) is riot enough to make any 10K like buttah.

[Meanwhile, Daddy played Zelda on Wii, while we were out.]

Ode to KR & fam

2008-04-20T19:06:00.001-07:00

Having fun with a 1st video on Vista Movie Maker :) You guys rock!

Finally a nice day

2008-04-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

The Longest Winter in History gives us brief respite...

A new word for the Oxford Dictionary

2008-03-27T07:04:00.001-07:00

Source: H***, Keira A.
Date of inception: 3/27/2008

Word: Onesistinellio
Pronunciation: \ˈwən -ˈsist -i - 'nel -ˈē-(ˌ)ō\
Function: Noun
Origin: United States/Oregon/child's bedroom.

: Desire to eat something purple.

Use: I have a big onesistinellio for some of that tasty looking eggplant.

Obama in Eugene

2008-03-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this is all about our experience with Obama in Eugene and completely devoid of actual material that may actually matter, like, issues and stuff.

So, we didn't get into Mac Court, but had an amazing time anyway. After standing in line a bit over an hour, we were told that the doors had shut--the place was packed 9,000 full. So we followed the herds of people to the back of the gym, where we waited for Obama to come speak to the outside crowd for a few minutes before heading inside to the main event. In the end, after hearing a brief speech outside from the senator, we ended up less than 20 feet away from him, while he was shaking hands with the crowd.

Not bad for after 9pm with a three year-old! And, all except a Keira bathroom issue that we won't go into, the night was...um, seamless.

By 8pm, Keira was already punchy. It was quite the task keeping a three year-old content in lines longer than the longest Disneyland ride, but she was a trooper! She kept chanting, "O-ba-ma" along with, "We want Obama!" She got several whoops and hollers from her fellow Obama fans, who despite being in lines for hours were nothing but happy.

One of our most awkward & memorable moments was, right after the senator came out and started speaking to the crowd, Keira starting clammoring for...her fig bar. "Fig bar!" "Fig bar!" Fortunately Daddy located the said snack prior to us being bludgeoned/shooshed by the throngs around us, who clung to each word of the actual speech. Something about healthcare for vets? Getting out of this war? Yeah, we missed it.

Vid:

Elijah's Tae Kwondo skills

2008-03-21T06:37:00.000-07:00

Elijah, you have sweet nunchuck skills! Great job getting your red belt!

We love you,

Aunt Julie, Uncle Bob, & Keira

Bathtub sledding

2008-01-28T11:39:00.000-08:00

1 Infant/toddler bathtub + 10 feet leftover rope = Endless fun. :)
While looking around for something suitable for sledding, Keira spotted her old tub in a high shelf in the garage. We have a 3 year-old McGyver in training!

Video:

Shut the Town Down! Snow in Eugene!

2008-01-28T08:15:00.000-08:00

Oh, yeah, baby! Snowball fights, here we come!
Below: Video w/ the neighbors -- giants snowball action!

Below: Neighbor Bella builds a snowman on Annie's back. Annie's response: "Whatever."

Keira sings Fergie

2008-01-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

A 3 year-old singing a top 40 hit....

Sorry for the annoying laughter at the end...I was caught off guard by Keira's end line of the chorus. If you don't know the song, you may not have heard the radio or been exposed to a dentist's office in the last 13 months.
"Big Girls Don't Cry"

Fairy Godmother, MD: We need you

2008-01-23T22:08:00.000-08:00

Santa brought Keira a Cinderella doll this Christmas. Below is said doll following contact with our new 1 year-old lab. Ball gown & remainder of appendages mostly intact.
Below: guilty party.

Um, so how should we fix her? Current options:

- Try glueing the pieces of her arm back together w/ a cast/splint

- Glue her hand, which is well intact, directly onto her shoulder

- Borrow an intact action figure arm (a coworker offered her son's GI Joe doll arm)

- Let 'er rip as is -- she still rocks it

Help!

Cherry pie, an ostrich, and six phones

2008-01-20T10:07:00.000-08:00

Aunt Kari, Keira is calling you with spy language again...

What exactly this says, I don't know, but the child is far more lucid than her parents.

Stay, Diego, Stay!

2008-01-19T17:53:00.000-08:00

Well, a one year-old lab just adopted us today :)
My coworker Diana & her partner found this little guy about a month ago, and brought him by today for a "visit." He was so cute & sweet, he sucked in our hearts instantly.

And yes, Annie, you will always be ours...

Above & below: Diego w/ big sister & daddy
Big sister Annie (below), still wondering what the heck is going on and when this other dude will stop slobbering on her little sister.

Kickin' it 80's style [more dancing]

2008-01-15T19:15:00.000-08:00

The head bobbing, accompanied by "Annie Annie Annie Annie," is a valiant effort to get a 10 year-old dog to "jump! jump!" to 20-year old hip-hop performed by a stuffed frog.

Dancing Queen...'08 style

2008-01-10T07:14:00.000-08:00

Fun with DDR. I think it's closer to breakdancing than anything....a new game, software developers?

Christmas

2007-12-29T15:08:00.000-08:00

Above: Tickles

Back by Popular Demand!

2007-11-04T08:21:00.001-08:00

October 07

2007-10-31T20:30:00.000-07:00

Retro post - actually posted 4/30/08, of October 07 pix :)

1st trip to the dentist, with Paula.
Beautiful fall day. Fun with Papa & Nama!

September 07

2007-09-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Retro post -- I'm going through our backup drive & finally posting some stuff from 07. 4/30/08

August 07

2007-08-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

Retro post: digging up pix from 07 to fill in the egregious 07 gap in our blog.

3rd birthday party!

July 07

2007-07-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

Retro post: Going through 2007 photos, adding a few to the blog. 4/30/08

4th of July parade in Harrisburg:

More circa 4th of July fun:

Super Mom and the Tiger

2006-11-09T10:09:00.000-08:00

Halloween '06

2006-08-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

Keira 2.0

2006-08-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

After adding several upgrades, such as a more advanced speech synthesizer, more mobility and greater gameplay, Hynes Inc. is proud to announce Keira 2.0 Much fun was had by all during the launch, including Nama, Papa, and special guests Grandma Marge and Aunti H.

The Good Life

2006-07-01T14:18:00.000-07:00

1. Inexperienced parents wrapped around little finger - check.
2. "Cute" weapon perfected for everyone else - check
3. *Everything* is MINE - needs work.

I believe all is well in hand.

More ireland photos

2006-06-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

Ireland 2006

2006-05-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

Well we've returned from Ireland in once piece and had alot of fun. Cows, castles, sheep, pubs. It's all there, confirming every stereotype we've ever had about the place, much to our enjoyment. We had the best pints of Guiness we've ever had (and will probably ever have), while Keira had fun disturbing 5000 year old monuments. We made a complete circle around the island, starting and ending in Dublin. In order, we stayed in Dublin, Kildare, Kinsale (near Cork), Kilarney, Galway, Belfast, changing B&B's/hotels about 10 times.

Left is a picture of Jules and Keira walking up to Dunguaire Castle (pronounced something like "Dungoor" I think). It's more of a fortified house that was also a port ("Dun"= port). I have video of it that I may create a link to on this site. Below is where nightly medieval banquets are held.

At Blarney Castle we kissed the Blarney stone (Jules shown at right trading germs with hundreds of other tourists).

In Ireland, all citizens must join the military at 21 months old and be able to field strip a cannon in under 90 seconds.

1 year later

2006-05-03T11:55:00.000-07:00

Well, this blog has been up for one year now. What a difference a year makes!

Keira at 9 months....

Keira at 20 months....

To KR

2006-04-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, my awesome friend.

7 days now, many to come...

Lia Grace

2006-04-20T14:14:00.000-07:00

Taken this morning...Isn't she a beauty!?

Nice work, J&J!

Best possible Easter chick ever

2006-04-16T16:05:00.000-07:00

A Happy Easter, indeed. Happy Birthday, Lia Grace!

Across the miles, Julie's bro & sis-in-law had their baby girl this morning a little after 10am. Lia was 8 lb., 8 oz., 19-1/2" and with a head full of hair.

Congrats, J&J! We can't wait to meet sweet little Lia. And in the meantime, all of us say Happy Birth day and Happy Easter to you all!

Eggies

2006-04-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

Eggs, dye, and a hand that isn't blue. You do the math.

Gambling and mood disorders among Marshmallow Peeps

2006-04-10T20:41:00.000-07:00

Born, J. & Lilly, Inc. (In press.) Gambling and mood disorders among Marshmallow Peeps.

Abstract:

The present study was designed to test the relationship of gambling and mood disorders in certain sectors of the Peepulation. In related research, exposure to several environmental factors on Marshmallow Peeps had little effect on mood, with the exception of combined alcohol and tobacco use.

Methods: Five subjects (all yellow chicks) were randomly sampled and consented to participate in the experiment. The form of Texas Hold'em poker was used as the method of gambling, due to its recent societal peepularity. Each of the peepticipants were given $20 to engage in the poker game for as few or as many games as they wished for a total of a 1-hour period. Symptom change was assessed with the patient-rated Marshmallow Mood Inventory (Fluff & Jet-Puffed, 1987), preceding and immediately following the experimental phase.

[Above:] Peepticipant, name witheld, raises $20 on 'the flop' during the experiment.

Results: The mean changes in Peep behavior were 2.45+/- 0.22 episodes of depressive symptoms per betting hand, correlated with the average lost amount of money (-$7) per hand (0.79 +/- 0.12, p=<0.001).>

Summary and Recommendations: The present findings, while preliminary, indicate a strong correlation between betting losses and symptoms of depression among study peepticipants. Limitations of the study include: small sample size, testing of only the yellow chicks, and only one form of gambling being tested. Recommendations for further research include: gambling frequency among adolescent pink bunnies and lavender chicks, tobacco and alcohol use among Peeps who gamble, and the effects of Peep video lottery playing on terminal button stickiness.

Yeah, boiiiiii

2006-04-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

Donja mess
with the Dora Destroyas
me and my Boots be knockin'
on ya Swiper bum, sucka!

(D-D-D-D-D-Dora)

Swiper no swipin'
Swiper no swipin'
back off Swipey
cuz Dora got ya hidin'

(D-D-D-D-D-Dora)

2006 Lil'K. Available on That's MINE Records.

Bath breakthrough

2006-04-03T16:40:00.000-07:00

After months of drama that would rival any water-related "Fear Factor" challenge, we have finally reached an unforgettable milepost. Keira will now allow her hair to get wet.

The last bath was It. And again today, she mustered up the bravado to embrace The Wet Head. The next installment of "Entertainment Tonight" will surely feature this landmark event...

First 5 worder

2006-03-27T09:33:00.000-08:00

Our little girl is starting in on 5 word sentences. First one: "Lay down on the bed". This said, after the increasingly lengthy ritual of trying to get her *out* of bed while in her wacky mode.

Newest Napoleon fan

2006-03-12T09:00:00.000-08:00

Check out a sneak preview from Napoleon Dynamite II.

Winter wonderment

2006-03-11T07:03:00.000-08:00

Ah....a rare snow day...

Contagious excuses

2006-03-11T06:50:00.000-08:00

So I realize that it's been since the Paleolithic era of blogging since I've posted. When I begin to write, like now, I suddenly feel like I'm putting entries in the first or last pages of Flowers for Algernon.

I promise to at least post pictures. Like, once a week or something.

But prolonged blogging excuses to which only I would give a cr*p about aside...Yesterday was supposed to be a big day in the life of Problem Gambling Awareness Week. This year we've been trying to raise community awareness that gambling isn't a risk-free activity for young people. So, there were just a few elements that aided in postponing our activities at a middle school, not the least of which was forever colds that K & I have had, me sounding like Peter Brady in the puberty episode, and a brand-spankin' new case of pink eye (?WTH?). What saved me in the end? A rare snow day here! And a perfect day for my little girl & I to hang... see above pic, before daddy headed off to work... :)

Happy Birthday!

2006-02-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

Happy B'Day to Jules...the most awesome wife, mom and friend anyone could ever be blessed with.

The dark side

2006-02-09T19:45:00.000-08:00

It begins with a simple admiration for cylindrical objects, then progresses toward harder addictions such as tupperware sorting and salad bowl hats. Eventually the addict can no longer control herself and takes the plunge into...can stacking. One subject, shown here caught off guard at the beginning of a closet session.

Christmas '05

2005-12-25T17:44:00.000-08:00

Ahh, Christmas...the time to teach small children to be violent with anything wrapped in colorful paper.

Keira, a pacifist at heart, shown here opening her 437th present with great care, after which all trash items were carefully given by her to Grandpa for disposal in organized fashion. The organization gene is recessive in our family. Perhaps with therapy she can learn to live a normal life...with her weird, messy parents.

Don't hurry down the chimney tonight...

2005-12-13T04:36:00.000-08:00

Early childhood trauma and post-traumatic stress therapy (12/12/05).

Child labor laws, be darned

2005-12-11T22:12:00.000-08:00

Here we present a volunteer effort as an example of how those pesky government regulations undermine the spirit of free market economy.

It is obvious that Ms. Hynes subscribes to McGregor's Theory Y of Management, that man/woman will direct him-/herself if committed to the goals of the organization.

After reviewing the Hynes family strategic plan and noting the gross paucity in physical organization about the place of business, Keira first drew up a logic model of inputs, outputs, and outcomes based upon the current conditions. 'Inputs' noted were foodstuffs consumed about the locale, 'outputs' --aside from the unmentionables--consisted of foodstuff crumbs, wrappers, and the like strewn about the designated food consumption areas, and 'outcomes' comprised the ultimate color and/or texture of soft footwear after proceeding across designated food consumption areas.

After developing a plan to address the current conditions, Keira implemented her first objective (above). (And she actually did pick the broom and pan up all on her own. I kid you not. )

Other goals drawn up in the plan include: rearrangment of books in and about shelves and boxes, organization of family Christmas tree ornaments, and finally, removal of sticker goo from her Christmas gifts.

Evaluation instruments are in development and a vision statement will soon be available on the kitchen floor.

The "Keira Videos" link on the right offers breathing proof of her labor status.

Walkies

2005-11-24T19:06:00.000-08:00

Big Foot, the Loch Ness monster, & Keira walking. Such phenomena were hard to prove until a cameraman in Oregon caught one of the three on film.

The photo was a bit grainy, but through computer enhancement you can see legs extending vertically from Keira's torso which would indicate an upright position. Obviously caught by surprise, she then ran off in an easterly direction. That's our story, we're sticking to it.

Check out the new "Keira's Videos" link on the right. Some of these video files are huge...the faster your internet speed the better.

Hangin

2005-11-21T20:29:00.000-08:00

Keira at 15 1/2 months & some other guy, hanging out.

Last week Keira took 6 steps by herself. Not exactly a daredevil, she's taking her time in learning the craft of walking.

This would have been a picture of her on her feet, but such incidents are few and far between...not to mention such a picture would violate her posted rules "Please no flash photography or watching while the talent is performing. Thankyou."

Energy girl

2005-10-30T07:14:00.000-08:00

Well, Keira's episode with Roseola and ear infections is over. This weekend she's displayed more little girl-power than I've ever seen, laughing up a storm while tumbling around the living room floor.

I've been sick for the 3rd weekend in a row, this time with a cold/cough, so I'm trying not to spread my cooties to this little bundle of smiles (though it looks as though Julie might not have escaped). It's hard when I hear the word "Daddyyyy".

Speaking of words, Keira's got such a vocabulary now we're losing track. *Some* of the latest are "nana!" (Banana), "Crackuh" (cracker), "Purple", "I doh know" (hands splayed out in clueless nes), poppy (pumpkin) & "A", "E", "I", "O", "B", "M" (letters we put on her wall). What she lacks in mobility, she makes up for in chattiness. She is able to stand up by herself with no support, but walking is still an extreme sport in her mind...at least without two guiding fingers.

Double-whammy

2005-10-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

Keira is currently in the midst of getting over infections in both ears *and* roseola. She has another 4 days of antibiotics for her ears and the roseola rash should last about that long. At least she's being efficient about it? Poor little girl!

She is playing now (which is good) but is not very hungry. Can't wait for the amoxicillan dosage to end!

Geek in training

2005-10-18T19:15:00.000-07:00

Like, no way! I *was* totally winning that new pony on ebay! Dad, get a faster laptop!!

You like us. You really like us!

2005-09-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

Claudia & Peter were here, their visit followed soon after by Allison ("Cita") & Jay. What, no visitors for months and you guys all come practically at once. Whassupwithhat!

Seriously, thank you guys for coming up. Everyone had a blast and we can't wait to see you again.

Here are some pictures to prove we actually have friends. (Let us know if those checks haven't cashed, guys.)
Click to enlarge...

Above left: Keira and praying mantis in the back yard (and a large insect, too).

Above right: Peter, Bob, Jules, Claudia, and a little girl crown. And a dog that doesn't want to pose.

Left: Jay and Silent Dog.

Above: Good times with Allicita.

Words to date

2005-09-08T05:17:00.000-07:00

Keira hit 13 months on the 6th. Here's an account, from most recent, of her ever-expanding vocabulary. The "B's" are apparently the hippest letter to start with these days.

Birdy ("biree"...or perhaps she has a fine taste in cheese we're not yet aware of)
Hat
Apple ("appuh")--definitely her new favorite
Bottle ("bobbuh")
Water ("wa-uh")
Good girl...or Google ("Goo-guh"-- either word is entirely plausible)
Mooo (more onomatopoeia, but we're listing it since it's always used when reading a certain page in "Peekaboo on the Farm")
Balloon ('ba-ooooh," always accompanied by a smile and/or point)
Ball (everything from peaches to the sock spheres that daddy leaves on the floor...ahem)
Up
That! ("dat" & "bat," as in, tell me what that is and/or give it to me)
Hi (her favorite used in a whisper from under 6 inches away)
Duck
Book
Boat (Gramma T reports this; we haven't heard it yet)
Mama
Doggy
Uh-oh (still a crowd favorite)
Dada

Above right: A demand to know what exactly "That!" is.

Spam globsession

2005-09-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

I just now decided to make peace with spam.

A message sent to me (Julie) today at exactly 1:03 pm pushed me over the edge to detente, not in the "if you can't beat 'em, join em" sense, but in the altruistic quest for understanding spamkind. In fact, as I write this only six minutes after receiving said missive, I find myself becoming ever more curious--globsessed, if you will--with the cybersphere lunchmeat's meaning.

My new wondering is if perhaps the messages are being sent from real people, master cryptologists with an important prophecy to share, ala Davinci Code. Now, since I've become quicker than Wyatt Earp at shooting down these messages to the Deleted Items folder, I have nary the experience in deciphering any of these codes.

Maybe that's why the messages keep coming, more of them, stronger, and with larger photos and more text. Perhaps Rolex, Cialis, and Hoodia are secret names for some other being, place, world.

I just don't know.

Which is why, person out there in cyberspace who may have just happened onto this little blog, I need your help. I am not a cryptologist, and admittedly my mastery of forensics is limited to general awareness of Luminol and mitochondrial DNA, thanks be to CourtTV. That said, please help me understand the contents of this mystery meat in an email bottle:

FROM: Ofelia Darnell [mailto:cyeudb@color-box.com]
SENT: Saturday, September 03, 2005 2:03 PM
TO: [deleted]
SUBJECT: it drink he silica thimble.
MESSAGE:
[picture of ad & hyperlink removed]
Not at all. Dont mention it, said Mr. Spenlow. At the same How are you, Copperfield? said he. Fine morning.punishing YOU. Dear me, you know that quite as well as I. I said something to the effect that it was a lady whom I had seen Steerforth was an invalid and could not come down; but that if I spring, their cordial greetings had a homely sound to me, although Well. said Mr. Creakle, this is very gratifying. You have success in their new career. I begged Mr. Micawber to fill us

And that's it. Just like that, without a period, it ends, as if it were going to reach a conclusion and its sender was mortally interrupted.

What was Mr. Micawber going to fill them with?

Who, exactly, was being punished? Mr. Spenlow or Mr. Copperfield?

What happened to Steerforth to cripple him so?

And will I now be shot for mistakenly letting the cat out of Copperfield's bag?

Any guesses?

My true desire is to let this sclerotic message and all of its mysterious contents properly congeal, but its curious words are carnal, consuming me, its
slippery words wrapped in Wonder.

Spam: not just for disaster preparedness, rednecks, or morbidly obese Pacific Islanders.

Fairs and the art of elephant eating

2005-08-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

So it probably sounds very backwater Oregon, but what the heck: we just loooove the county fair! Nothing like a good E. coli scare to really make the summer, right?

And there we were, admidst the sheep, hens, pies, and vertigo-inducing rides, as Keira got to be a part of her first fair this year. Last year in mid-August we were struggling with lots of unmentionable newborn difficulties that rhyme with "test-reading," and we won't even revisit that. Let's just say we're glad that it's this summer, and that we all got to hang out at the fair one fine summer evening.

For anyone who's actually reading (sound the crickets) and who doesn't know what an elephant ear is (sound valley girl "What-everr!") you just must know. Elephant ears are truly the fair's gift to mankind. Here's a description of the delicious appendage.

I don't mean to get philosophical here, but I am getting close to believing that, without an elephant ear, one actually hasn't been to the fair. More distressing than movies minus popcorn, yet not as aberrant as the ball game sans hot dog, an earless fair is about on par with the circus and no peanuts.

It just shouldn't be.

So if your county fair does not offer up elephant ears, I would demand not just my money back, but a regular uprising. Picket the corn-cob and cotton candy booths until it happens, people. (Person, rather. Hi, Bob.)

Right: Our girl's life being forever altered by first consumption of the ear. Note the Reach of Desperation. This will soon enough be expanded into the even more artful talent, the French Fry from Backseat Lurch.

Nothing like...

2005-08-11T15:33:00.001-07:00

...a cool bath on a hot summer day...

And her future profession is...

2005-08-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

While Uncle Jim was here, he shared with us the Chinese tradition which is celebrated on a one year-old's birthday. (Jim's wife Julie is Chinese, and our little nephew Noah honored this tradition. We thought it would be neat to pick it up, too. )

Here's the custom: on the first birthday, the parents should place a range of objects representing different professions in front of the one-year old. Whichever the baby reaches for first indicates his future profession.

So Keira went for it. We offered her a toy car (mechanic or racecar driver), computer mouse (technology), box of chalk (teacher/artist), an animal (veterinarian/zookeeper/circus?), a ruler (construction), and a pen (writer). After quite a bit of deliberation, she lightly touched the pen a couple of times, deliberated more, then our pensive little girl finally took hold of her future tool of her trade...the pen.

Daddy's Note

2005-08-08T00:09:00.000-07:00

To my awesome little girl who is 1 year old,

Because this blog is becoming a journal, I hope someday you read this and see our excitement that you are alive and in our lives. You are so loved by your mommy and I, more than you'll ever know. You are a gift from God and even more proof of His love to us.

Par-ty! Par-ty! Par-ty!

2005-08-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

What a day--and oh, how fast it went. Like a microcosm of the last year, Keira's birthday and its party went in a flash. Here's the run-down on the fun-down before sundown:

- wardrobe change #1
- bath #1
- wardrobe change #2
- nap
- wardrobe change #3
- outside party (including the Red Frosting Encounter)
- wardrobe change #4
- inside party/gift opening
- nap
- dinner
- bath #2
- wardrobe change #5

Aside from more costume shifts than a Cher concert, things were really low-key. Except next year we might hire a media coordinator to handle the paparazzi and phone calls. Currently it's a little before 8pm, and the sun hasn't quite set yet. There's plenty more time...

365 days

2005-08-06T05:33:00.000-07:00

Who knew what a difference that many days can make. Over the last 365 days, we have known just about every variation that a 24-hour time block can give. And have been given more by one little body than we thought possible.

365 days.

Keira Allison, born at 3:43 p.m. on August 6, 2004, is now a year old. In this one year, she has knocked many socks off (including, quite literally, her own, but that's another issue that someone needs to solve and patent). This little being has caused many changes in many lives over the last year, but here are the top three outwardly noticeable effects:

* The ridding of the Evil Blasted Dodge Neon, the 1995 hunk of black magic. This purge for the purchase of a shiny new family-friendly-yet-not-minivan-nor-gas-guzzling-soccer-thing, the utilitarian Honda CR-V.

* Her grandparents on her mom's side purchased an entire new home--a new home (go ahead, say it in your best Bob Barker voice)--only 60 miles away from their other home. Just because they were too far away.

* Her parents began to develop some actual planning and organizational skills. No easy feat.

And that is only a very brief, superficial list of what has changed around here, and a fraction of what will come. Keira Allison, one amazing wonder. Someone up there really has blessed us.

Currently that blossoming little girl is discovering and unpeeling the beginnings of all discoveries in life. As she points to everything around her and demands with a "Gzaat!" to know what it is, she absorbs. You can see her processing these new learnings. That bright-eyed and smiley face is nothing short of a miracle. And those 365 days--every one of them--better, more tiring, more inspiring, more of everything, than ever before.

Uncle Jim

2005-08-05T23:03:00.000-07:00

Uncle Jim's in town for Keira's birthday. Keira adores Jim and they've been having quite a ball together already; yukking it up with balloons and making funny faces is all the rage around here.

Keira's party will be tomorrow at high noon, and promises to be fun as there are just a few guests and will be a whole lot of cake and pizza involved. In a move toward domestication ("toward" being the operative word), I've made a Pooh cake with buttercream frosting from scratch. I even colored the frostings various Pooh colors, much to the chagrin of our Gladware containers.

Good times.

Hobo spider

2005-08-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Apparently the hobo spider is quite underrated. It's the "third" poisonous spider in the U.S., alongside the A-listers black widow and brown recluse. Right now the D-list hobo gets about as much street cred as Star Wars' Ewoks. Perhaps its nomer is to blame; maybe a more intimidating title, like "toxic nomad" or "evil gypsy," would help.

Anyway, I found the little wanderer on a mulch bag in the back yard and thought I would capture him in his poisonous potential glory.

A Very Long Movie

2005-07-31T20:18:00.000-07:00

It may have been that Keira has been sleeping like a newborn as late (teething? Congestion? Learning too many things? Payback for the little hat with floppy dog ears?)

It may have been that we had wheeled over 8 yards of Bark-O-Mulch into our backyard over a two day period.

Perhaps it was that the French film's dialogue moved so fast we'd have needed a Sylvan speed-reading course to follow.

We don't exactly know. But it took us three (3) tries to actually get through all of "A Very Long Engagement" (further referred to as AVLE, since the title itself makes me tired).

This Netflix thing is great. Really. My friend Claudia, after months of touting its benefits, finally convinced us to take the Netflix plunge. Now we can watch as many movies as we want per month for the low price of $9.99. The catch is, while this is good bargain for movie rentals, a person can only check out one movie at a time. So this leaves us with Netflix Guilt, an affliction that not only leaves the burden of not wanting to "waste" a movie, but also holds us hostage. Gotta hurry up and put up the randsom of movie-watching before they will send us the next little red envelope.

So, somehow AVLE ended up in our queue. Now, while I love the ability of Netflix to foster the uber-nerd-review-evey-film-before-rental feature, there's no "Well, maybe I want to rent this movie, but please don't add it to my queue yet because I can't quite commit" button on Netflix. You've either added it, or you haven't.

Here's where we were this week with Netflix Guilt.

*Spoiler Alert*

[Why a spoiler alert? Said alert assumes that someone is actually reading our blog, which is highly unlikely considering we've posted nude pictures here on several occasions just to see if anyone noticed. Well, my woken-up-on-the-hour-by-crying/teething/vengeful 11-month old delusions of grandeur are winning out and I will post. Out of good faith and warning to wannabe cultured folk like us who think talking about seeing a French Film over the weekend will impress others.]

OK, Spoiler--and a short one, for we should not waste time complaining about a long movie with a tome of a diatribe--the title is enough to recount the entire film (yes, even less ambiguous than "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"). Save the 2.3 hours and read the title. The fiance is not dead, for if he were, the screenplay would be called, "A Very Long Wait for A Guy Who Turns Out to Be Dead Afterall."

The next movie is "Sleeper" (no, not the Brad Pit movie; yes, the 30+ year old Woodie Allen one). Here's to hoping the title doesn't say it all there. Ah, Netflix, we love you. Guilt-riddled pleasure that you are.

(Oh, and we were kidding about the nude pictures. Except the occasional Coppertone-esque shots of Keira.)

Crawlies

2005-07-28T20:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I'm cool like that. I could walk, too--I'm just too hip for that stuff at the moment.

--julie

bathies

2005-07-15T23:18:00.000-07:00

Fun in bath =

splashing +
carrying on long conversations with bath toys +
kissing bath toys +
more splashing.

--julie

Ma-ma

2005-07-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

Finally! After months of da-da, a month of uh-oh, and a couple weeks of "do-ga" (or something of the like, for doggie), finally I hear the magic word. Woo-hoo!

- Mama